You know me [smirk] I speak in metaphor.
So………the yo-yo. Today I was talking with a friend about how weary my kid is…she’s weary about life, about covid, about school, about masks, about sports happening and not happening and then happening again… I likened it all to a yo-yo and how tough it has been to be up and then down and then up and then down, spinning, never at rest, changing directions as fast as the ascent or descent occurs. And that how sometimes, instead of changing directions and gaining momentum toward an upward high point, we’re instead just a tangled up mess twisting out of control while maxed out at the end of our rope, so mangled that any movement is impossible without a total reset.
Can you relate? I can. Boy can I ever. With this year, with all of its covid craze, its election craze, it’s normal craze… with cancer and all of its relative ups and downs and tangled-up-messes… with parenting and wife-ing and all of the everything that that is… Oh man does this metaphor work for me in describing my weary feelings for it all.
There is also something else to consider about the yo-yo.
It’s supposed to do this. At its most basic function…inherent in its design…it is supposed to go up and down and up and down. It’s supposed to ascend and descend quickly. It’s supposed to spin as it changes direction. It’s supposed to be high and then low and then high again. And, well, I haven’t met a yo-yo yet that doesn’t tangle the crap up every now and then….I mean, with all that spinning it’s bound to happen.
Sometimes, when things are out of control, we can’t grasp how we feel and when we can’t grasp how we feel it’s hard to regain control. But when we can “name” or “label” what we feel, we can start to feel more in control. And even if circumstances don’t change, by qualifying how we feel or what our experiences are, we then create something concrete in our mind…something concrete that then we can start applying truth to (hence why metaphors are SO powerful in counseling and coaching). So, back to the yo-yo.
What if we hold the mental picture of the yo-yo as a way to describe our weariness with the hardness? It gives us some qualities to help validate our experiences in a measurable way. But then we also get to acknowledge the truth of the yo-yo…that it’s supposed to do what it is designed to do. Our experiences of ups and downs and tangled up messes at the ends of our ropes is, well, life. It’s supposed to be that way. And instead of seeing that as a hopeless thing, maybe it’s actually hopeFUL. …The upside is coming. …Don’t be surprised by the change in direction. …The bottom-out low, even if we get stuck there for awhile and have to untangle ourselves, always comes right before the reset.
*Post 982
The Body Talks, One Must Simply Listen :: 12/8/17 :: Post 102
It’s interesting how my body talks to me. It told me today that I did too much this week. It told me that the three late nights were very taxing. It told me that it needs sleep. And a lot of it. It told me that I need to allocate my limited energy better. It told me to be more careful with my capacity. It told me it is working really hard so to be kind.
It told me these things by how run down I feel. How I can hardly keep my eyes open. How I’m nauseous even with no chemo in my system. How I’m cold even with layers on and a hat on my head. How sore my feet, back and neck are. How impatient I am. How easily I cry. How heavy my arms feel. How brushing my teeth feels just too hard. How the act of thinking is challenging.
I am going to listen and go to sleep…my body is wiped out. And I have round 4 in 3 days…
Straight In The Eyes :: 12/8/18 :: Post 453
Last night I was asleep by 8:30….. because my day at work was nutty…..and life at this current moment is also nutty…..and life for the past 2 years has been especially nutty…. While well rested, today was exhausting as it was full of friends, sports and settling into this new home….. Slowly but surely things are coming together but the exhaustion continues. And as with everything else, I will stare this experience straight in the eyes. Even when it’s hard.
Living Changed Head to Toe Day 8 :: 12/8/19 :: Post 816
Ugh. Today has been rough. This surgery (out of the reconstruction surgeries) has definitely been the hardest to recover from. My body is tired. And strung out. And desperate for a rest. I mean, it’s only day 3 post-op, but I’m usually doing much better by now. Tears have filled my eyes as I reflect in the quiet that accompanies recovery. It’s both a typical response to anesthesia and my propensity for sadness when I’m beyond exhausted. I’ve also spent most of the day flat on my back as I’ve been dizzy and nauseous. I’ve only gotten through it because I know I can do anything for 5 minutes and I know I can do hard things….
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised… I did have surgery. And to think it was ‘nothing’ is foolish. So, I’ll give myself time. And grace. And kind words. Keep battling, body.
As I continue to write about living changed from head to toe, today I am choosing to write about my throat. Appropriate as I am recovering from surgery #10 and my poor throat has experienced the impact of intubation more times than I ever thought would happen in my life. For days following surgeries, my throat is scratchy and sore which both effect my appetite…probably part of why I’m nauseous, too. Like I said in a post a few days ago – it’s amazing how things ‘just work’ and when they don’t, we realize what we take for granted. It’s also amazing how everything is connected.
Living Changed, Head to Toe – Day 8 is about remaining patient when things just don’t work the way they are supposed to … for whatever reason. And believing that new mercies come in the morning even when I’m tired of believing for them.