As I sat with my friend last night, hearing her heart and sharing my own, it struck me how difficult it is to find those that can sit and hear the hard stuff…without giving into the temptation to fix or rescue, without forcing comments that show how smart they are, without storytopping or comparing experiences to subconsciously feel ‘braver’ or ‘stronger,’ without feeling antsy to ‘get to the glass-half-full.’ I appreciated my friend’s ability to allow me to just share my story, not the summary but the nittygritty. She didn’t try and say the perfect response (which usually comes out as quite the opposite). She didn’t try and common-ize my experience by sharing how her own (very different) was like the same. She didn’t offer solutions. She didn’t impose “shoulds” and “why don’t yous” and “you knows”… She admitted when she didn’t understand how I felt. She was honest with, “I don’t know what to say.” She didn’t fill the space with words because the quiet was too uncomfortable.
I think what it takes to be that ^ person ^ is genuineness.
And in that genuineness, the grace is deep. The grace to feel. The grace to share. The grace to connect. The grace to be.
Today I…
Sunday: Learned
Monday: Chose; said yes/no to
Tuesday: Loved
Wednesday: Prayed
Thursday: Was challenged by/to
Friday: Am grateful for
Saturday: Saw grace in
*Post 1028
The Ick :: 1/23/18 :: Post 145
The ick is here. I feel dreadful. So nauseous…so on the verge of puking…so internally hot I feel like fire…heartburn that makes me feel like a dragon that breathes fire..
I’ve slept quite a bit this evening…up for just the time it takes to finish this short post.
Because it all hurts less when I’m sleeping….
I hate you, cancer.
Blindsided :: 1/23/19 :: Post 498
I had no appetite today.
Waves of nausea would hit at random times.
I was super prickly.
Didn’t have much patience for anything.
I don’t like how I feel.
I’m uncomfortable and edgy and I wanna crawl out of my own self.
I have been blindsided by this survivorship treatment phase. I knew there were some unknowns but this is rough….I haven’t yet been able to just settle as one thing has come after another.
All I can do is take 5 minutes at a time and be honest with myself. And right now….it sucks.
(No Post for 1/23/20)
Wow Amber, I have loved what you have been writing and have finally had time to respond. I especially loved this post, friends that can just listen are so special and important to have in our lives. It’s so hard when you have friends do the comparison game or try to one up you, or the ones that truly don’t listen but act like they do. I’m so glad you were able to sit with a friend that was what you needed. Those times and friends are so God’s treasures!
On a side note I am back now living in Colorado and would love for us to connect sometime. I know it’s been forever and the communication was very spotty with me moving around a lot with my husband in the military. I would love to reconnect, I think the last time we saw each other was my friend Amy hosted my baby shower for I think my youngest. You have always been in my thoughts and prayers, and praying blessings on you right now!!!
Thank you so much for your comment and affirmation ♥️ and yes, catching up would be wonderful! I don’t know about you with the sports world we are currently in due to covid, but my next three months are legit bonkers ? with two of my girls on five different teams all at the same time…. 3 of which I’m helping coach and 2 that my husband is coaching. Needless to say, I’ll come up for air in may. ??♀️
Yeah I totally know the feeling, yeah I kind of knew your schedule as I am now the assistant athletic director for the high school at Faith. I have for sure seen your daughter’s name as well as your husband on some of my work lol. Both of my boys are doing baseball and my daughter is doing swim for the high school at Ralston, so totally know the craziness. Hope you have a blessed Sunday and can’t wait to catch up when our schedules aren’t busy!!