To live changed means to accept change. To accept change, there must be an acknowledgement of grief for what is lost in the change. Grieving loss is an important step towards seeking an appreciation for what is gained in change. Appreciating what is in the change offers purpose for living changed. And to live changed means to accept change.

An interesting cycle, I’d say… 

*Post 1061

Pain :: 2/26/18 :: Post 176

Today was tough. 

Radiation was dumb today. They told me that every Monday they have to do a series of x-rays to ensure that my positioning is still correct. Again – a part of me is so grateful for the meticulous nature of this. The other part of me – the one that is in so much pain while on that table – was so pissy to hear this. Any extra time on that table and in that position is beyond awful……

Ugh. Every Monday.

And the breathing. *eye roll. 

I took in too big of breaths. Every time. All 10 times today. Even though I was trying to improve each time. So it took even longer than it was meant to. 

It’s gonna be a loooooooong month. 

And then I went to PT. Ms. Christi, one of my most favorite people in this journey, told me that my left shoulder is quite a mess. And while I love her, what she does is excruciating. 

The theme of today – pain……. I can’t put on a shirt or jacket, I can’t lift my arm, I can’t lean on my arm at my desk, I can’t reach for something. Pain. 

And that was today. Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe it’ll go better…..

Pedicure :: 2/26/19 :: Post 532

A sweet friend surprised me with a gift today. She treated me to a pedicure and a spa experience. 

She didn’t just give me a pedicure, though, she gave me quiet. She gave me time. She gave me space away from all of the hard. 

Thank you my friend, for loving me so incredibly well and for your generosity. 

(No Post for 2/26/20)