“When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!”
—Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 4 :: Lewis Carroll
The Things We Do :: May 31, 2018
What a long day. I’m emotional and exhausted. And I’m finishing my day at a softball game. Till 9:30. Which is waaaaaaay pay my bedtime. But Haleigh is worth it. 🙂
The Catalyst of Cancer :: May 31, 2019
I wrote a few days ago about the companionship of cancer. An odd concept, for sure…. Tonight, as I sit here and do my daily reflection, a habit now for 620+ days, I’m considering the word “catalyst.” The catalyst of cancer.
Cancer has completely changed me. Outside and in. From my deepest core, I see the world differently. I see the value of life differently. I see the vitality of relationships differently. My view of self is changed. I have to accept beauty to be different. I have to see my broken and pieced-back-together body as strong and not weak. I have to consider my femininity through the lens of fierce resilience and not a perfectly curved and toned body. My identity has morphed through this storm. I know myself better than I ever have before. I trust my instincts and know how to hear the Holy Spirit because of the silence I have chosen to sit in. I have a faith that has looked death in the face and told it “I’m not afraid.”
Cancer has pierced my soul and ripped open a wound so deep and so raw and so vulnerable that only magnificent transformation and divine empathy could justify its pain. I have experienced the lightest of lights and the highest of heavenly hopes that can only come when the darkness is blacker than black.
The catalyst of change that cancer has brought is beyond comprehension.
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