I invite you to picture two things:

1. The color spectrum.
   &
2. A palm tree.

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The Color Spectrum

Emotional intelligence is like the color spectrum. There are the primary colors and then countless color variations that create depth and dimension and meaning; similarly, so goes emotions and the process of naming emotions as they connect to experiences. The more depth we understand, the more dimension and meaning we can create. The more dimension and meaning we create, the better we understand the behaviors that accompany the emotion which connects to the experience. This work is emotional intelligence and, in my educated opinion, fundamental to experiencing overall health – physically, emotionally, psychologically, socially. If we know how to authentically and accurately name that which we are experiencing using a very extensive feelings vocabulary, we are going to gain the ability to …wait for it……… Emotionally adapt to the situations, circumstances, life-events, and contexts that we encounter. 

A Palm Tree

Emotional adaptability is like a palm tree. For palm trees to sustain life, they root themselves to flex, bend, and give so that they can endure the harshest of weather; so goes the human emotion experience. If we are rooted deeply in emotional intelligence, we are far more likely to purposefully endure, flexing, bending, and adapting to life’s unpredictable weather. Emotions are universally human. Life’s unpredictable weather is also every-bit a universal human experience. But emotional intelligence and emotional adaptability – those are choices and so not universally applied. And of course, these qualities, even when superbly applied, do not magically make the weather more predictable or gloriously calm. They simply make navigating it more doable. Making the doable, purposeful. In the totality of the story.

Application Part 1

I had had some exposure to the concept and benefits of high emotional intelligence prior to my diagnosis simply by being in the mental health profession, but I wouldn’t say I had a, uh, high EQ personally. Then the life-storm of cancer hit and without any doubt, it has been teaching me so much. But that’ll be saved for next week’s post as today, I am feeling depleted. My cancer-compromised capacity tank is dangerously low from a week full of big emotions, work, responsibilities and, well, cancer surviving. Before-Cancer-Amber would have tied a whole bunch of strings and guilt to “depletion” (and may have just known ‘tired’) but because cancer teaches me things, I live differently. And boundaries come string- and guilt-free. So, Application Part 2 will be for another day.

How might you benefit from seeing through more emotionally intelligent and emotionally adaptable lenses? What would you choose to do differently today that can deepen your emotional intelligence roots? What might your Application Part 1 be? Slow down. Pause. Consider.

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