I’m literally just sitting down in my own headspace for the first time today. It’s been a long and very full day and now that my standard functioning level starts at a 60%, a day ending at 10pm is like beyond exhausting.
I don’t have a whole lot left to make much sense with words but the thing that hit me (that I’ll have to write about another time) is that the very idea of the “both+and” is quite like the two sides of the Looking Glass. . . . . .
Yuck :: May 25, 2018
I feel awful tonight….
A not-so-gentle reminder of what my reality is…..
Extra Everything :: May 25, 2019
I’m trying to figure out why I feel extra awful tonight……I did nothing different today.
I’m extra nauseous (on the verge of throwing up). I’m extra in pain (drying myself after my shower felt like fire on my skin). I’m extra emotional (I cried at dinner). I’m extra feeling-like-an-elephant-is-sitting-on-my-chest (I can actually feel my lungs and heart). I’m extra edgy (I don’t want to interact with anyone cuz I feel ill totally snap at them). I’m extra bone-pain-y (my literal bone marrow aches sharply). I’m extra joints-stiff (I can barely wiggle my toes or fingers, move my neck, shrug my shoulders and walk). I’m extra hot-flashy (the volcano is intense).
I pray for good sleep so I can have relief.
(No Post 5/25/20)